I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
Randomize
