i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
Unless you watched your mom's very literal rendition of "I touch myself" while she was wearing a bikini, your vacation wasn't as bad as mine.
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
Randomize
