the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
I need a beard to bite.
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
Help. Why am I so naked?
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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