I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
my poor anus
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize
