I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
Randomize
