So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight.
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
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