nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
So here I am, sexting at work.
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
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