now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
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Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
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Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
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