I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
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In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
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she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
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