Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
I am full of burrito and curiosity
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
Man, jail baloney is awful.
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
Randomize
