shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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