she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
These People Made Expensive Mistakes That They’ll Regret Forever
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
Things The Opposite Sex Just Doesn’t Understand
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.