hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.