She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
This Girl Got Ghosted By Her BF Of 5 Years While On A Trip They Took For Her Birthday
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
People Are Applauding Chrissy Teigen For Getting Candid About Breast-Pumping
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
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