First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
We have so much sex to catch up on
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
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