3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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