I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
Randomize
