Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
Randomize
