i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
you are never too drunk for berry picking
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
