I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
she pinky promised me she was 18
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
Randomize