They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Randomize
