yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
Randomize
