I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
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