I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
Do you have any cake mix? I kind of need to make a "im sorry i drank all your parents tequila, threw up all over your floor and slept with you boyfriend" cake.
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
Randomize
