i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
She just used a chaser for red wine.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
