idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
Randomize
