there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
Randomize
