Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
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