I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
Woke up backwards on a recliner
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
Randomize