just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
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