Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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