So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
Randomize
