I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize
