yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
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