He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
Randomize