Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
Randomize
