I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
