Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
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