why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
Randomize
