just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
Buhtt sex?
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
Dude I got in an Uber this morning and he goes “I drove you last night”\n“You got your dick sucked in the back seat”
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
Randomize
