When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
