these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize
