hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
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