I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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