Is it normal to miss your booty call?
my phone needs a breathalizer
So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
Randomize
