Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
fuck your aforementioned shoe
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
This is classic penis vs brain.
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
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