when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
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