she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
worst night to have a conscience
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
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