and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
Will you blow on my dice?
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
Randomize
