you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
Silently passing ghastly beer farts as I move around the bridal department at Tiffany's. Call it my contribution to the holiday spirit.
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
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