"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
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