Umm I'm too high to move.
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
Randomize
