I wannas sexs uuuuu
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
Randomize
