u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
Say something about gay babies.
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
Randomize
