I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
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