Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
Randomize
