Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
Randomize
