woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
My apartment stinks of burning failure
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