ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Randomize
